Bob was a procrastinator.  For years during his childhood his mother would always nag him to make sure things were being done on time, but they never were.  His teachers would send notes to his parents telling them that he hadn’t handed in his homework yet and so on.  After graduating from college somehow (it took him 7 years), he tried to find purpose in his life.  He always felt as if there was something greater for him out there that was just waiting for him to discover it at some point.

He would read the morning paper and sip his coffee while browsing through the employment section ready to circle something that would catch his eye.  He briefly read through the rest of the paper.  Same ol’ same ol’.  Wars, famine and pestilence.  He closed the paper, shrugged and looked out the window for a moment when suddenly his phone rang.

”Hello is this Bob?”

“yup, what do you want?”

“We heard you were looking for work.  If you are, we’re in a position to offer you something soonish”   Bob could hear other voices in the background chattering.

“Well, yes I am currently looking for work.  I graduated with a degree in advertising so something in that field would be great if that’s what you have in mind”

”That’s fantastic, we really are looking for an advertising/PR person so if you would like the job, it’s yours”

“What? No interview?  What is the name of your company and what can I expect to be paid?”

“The payment you will receive is far greater than any monetary compensation this world holds.  As for our company name, we’re registered as the FHA ®™”

There was some kind of mumbling then Bob heard the mystery man say “when I say that you’re supposed to hit the gong damn it!”

Needless to say, Bob was suspicious but in dire need of employment so he agreed to take on the position and wanted to know when he could start.  The man said that if he could start immediately that would be the best, there was a lot of work to be done before the end.  

The end of what? he wondered.

Over the next couple of days, Bob started receiving mail containing the materials he would need to do this project.  Mostly it was just newspaper clippings of big natural disasters, insect infestations and current wars.  Nothing he hadn’t seen before so he didn’t really read through all the material.  He still had no idea what he was supposed to do and he had no means of contacting the man he spoke with.  He was slowly feeling like he was being taken for a ride.

The doorbell startled him out of his moment of thought and he jumped up to answer it.  It was probably his mother bringing him something to eat like she did every evening.

“Bob.  I’m the person you spoke with on the phone the other day.  Can my friends and I come in for a while to discuss the project?”

Bob stood there looking at the four of them as they filed into his place.  The first one (the one he spoke with) was holding a bow and a crown, the second a sword and the third a set of scales.  As if that wasn’t scary enough, Bob quickly looked over at the fourth one.  He was the least chatty of the bunch – brooding and solemn.  Bob didn’t like that he couldn’t look that one in the eyes.

Against all better judgment, he let them into his apartment, weird accessories and all.

“Now Bob, you’re probably wondering what in Hell, or on Earth (he snickers and nudges the sword guy) is going on”

“You’d be right.  I have no clue what you need me for and I certainly have no clue why you’re dressed up like it’s Halloween.  Start talking and it better be worthwhile or you can find someone else.”

Now the scales guy talks. “There’s going to be this parade” (he accented parade with that two finger quotation mark thing that totally annoyed Bob) “and in this parade, my three buddies and I will be riding our horses”.

Mister sword pipes in “now this isn’t a regular parade, in fact it will just be the four of us.  What we need you for is to do the advertising and PR so that people will know the “parade” will be happening”

Great, my first job is going to be for the creepy Village People he thought to himself.

Mr. Sword continues ”See Bob, the thing is that the world is becoming quite a precarious place to live in.  We’ve chosen you because you’re one of those desensitized people that doesn’t give a second thought to all the woes of this world.  That’s what we need, someone with an objective outlook, someone that won’t be swayed by his emotions.”

Bob wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be flattered or insulted.

Finally, the brooding one spoke.

”Look Bob, all we need you to do is let people know that we’re coming.  That the end is near.  You know? So we need banners, leaflets and some t.v. spots.  It seems that people ignore the signs so we thought it would be best to hit them full force with an advertising campaign.  I mean, it’s best to move with the times right?”

Bob was now fully convinced that he had let cult members into his house.  He chuckled to himself for a moment because he realized they were taking themselves seriously.  But if they were going to pay he would play along and take the job anyway.  I mean apart from the fact that they were creepy, they seemed to be fairly nice.

The shook hands, the four quietly slinked out of his place and Bob waited for his dinner to arrive.  He could always start doing the work tomorrow.  He had to have everything done in a week because the parade was happening exactly 8 days from now.  A tight schedule, but he was up for the challenge.

He worked steadily and diligently over the next days.  He pressed on until he finally had all the materials printed and the advertising spots started to air during prime time.  Then the four paid him another visit.

Mr. Scales spoke first ”Bob, we really like what you’ve done in such a short period of time.  We loved the T.V. spots.  Impactful stuff.  Now, we’d really like it if you would ride in the parade with us tomorrow.  You’ll get your own horse and everything."

Bob really didn’t want to be seen with them but he agreed anyway, just to be polite.  He told them that he would meet them at the parade starting place and they nodded in unison as they walked out the door.

Early the next morning, Bob woke up still trying to decide if he would go to this thing.  He was supposed to be there in 30 minutes and he wasn’t sure if he could even make it to the other side of town in that time frame.  He decided he wouldn’t go.  He was waiting for their payment anyway so he would just relax at home and watch some tv.

About an hour later, he could hear lots of noise and commotion outside his window.  Men, women and children running around shouting and screaming.  Sadly that wasn’t something unusual for this part of town.  Probably just another riot.

He got a bag of chips and sat on the couch, clicking on the television.  The news was doing a report on the parade.  He saw crown man riding out front, then Mr.Sword and Mr.Scales.  Bringing up the rear was the broody one who scowled into the camera.  In his left hand he was holding the reins of a horse with no rider.  Bob smirked to himself. He guessed they still had to use the horse since they rented it for the occasion or whatever.  Creepy Village People indeed.

The reporter was frantically reporting shootings and all the rest.  None of it was real news to Bob.  He just switched off the box, sipped on his coffee and closed the blinds.  He would figure out what he would do tomorrow.  There was always a tomorrow.